"Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars"

“Men are from Venus, women are from Mars.” That is the title of a book written by John Gray which basically offers various suggestions aiming at improving men-women relationships in couples. However, I have recently realized how hard it becomes to try to understand people from another gender, let alone improve any relationship with them. Last month I watched this video which made me laugh a lot but at the same time reflect on the differences in personalities, attitudes, and behaviours of men and women, which have proven troublesome in any relationship, and which are an intrinsic part of them all. But, if it’s of any consolation to you, and me as well, let me share with you what I’ve learned in this video: we are different in nature, and nothing can change that.

One of the ideas that the mentioned video introduces in order to explain these natural differences between the two sexes is the one I am trying to express in my comic strip, and which Pilar Sordo, the psychologist in the video, called “magical thinking.” This is a thought structure, mainly developed in women’s minds, which lead people, more precisely women, to continuously compare the objective reality with their mental reality, the subjective images they create of people and things. Let me give you an example. We women are permanently expecting our boyfriends to be romantic with us and send us flowers daily. And it makes us so mad to realize that that will never ever happen, IN REALITY. What actually is making us so angry is in fact this so-called magical thinking, or magical thought, which is making us permanently compare the real man, our boyfriends, with this image we have in our minds of ‘the perfect man’. Of course we know who will lose the battle. And there it comes, the moment when we become intolerant, reproachful, and extremely unhappy as well.

It sounds complex. It must be complex. But learning to cope with the unlimited number of differences with the other gender is essential in order to improve all relationships. We can't deny we sometimes feel like crazy when not being able to control certain of our own emotions and reactions. And it frustrates us not being able to understand some of their behaviours. It is not a matter of just blindly and passively accepting each other, but of becoming more open-minded, learning about the other, understanding why it is that they, and we, behave in the way we do. And in the end, understanding and acceptance might lead us to complete happiness. How do you see it?